Thursday, August 24, 2006

Day 11.


I can say with certainty that I was born to be a hermit!. LOL I am actually enjoying myself being here all the time. I have not had one negative feeling moment, I have not endured that feeling of being stared at, I have eaten asnything I wanted, in any quantity desired, and I have been repeatedly been treated nicely by someone I care about. I have been allowed to do whatever I want... sloth at it's finest! LOL

Seriously, I have done whatever I have wanted to do, or not do... I seem to stay up way late at night doing whatever, and woken up after noon almost every day. I wake up when Im tired to sleeping, and I go to sleep when Im tired to being awake. I eat until Im tired of eating, which is alsmot never. I am under no pressure to do anything.

It's funny. I spent my whole life focusing on the fact that there is lots of fat layered on my body in one way or another. Either thru trying desperately to lose weight, or lately gain weight, its always been a big part of my life. Like putting on clothes that dont really fit, or that do fit but dont hide it well... The last 11 days, it really hasnt been. I have been free to be me, with no part of my being fat making any difference. I have not put on a special set of clothes, I havent even been concerned " Does this make me look fat?" I have never felt self concious, not even one time. Even when sitting there eating and eating, not once. Its been so great not feeling fat, I cant explaint it adequately... you have to be like me to understand.

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